Labor Day

Ohla, Happy Weekend and a Merry Christmas to you!!

Today, I am thankful for life and God's grace every step of the way. Wasn't it early this year that January seemed like it was all of 4 months combined? And now it is November? 

Reminds me of the hymn,
     
          'New every morning is thy love
          Our waking and us rising prove
          New perils past, new sins forgiven
          New thoughts of God, new hopes of heaven.'

Funny how I never liked the hymn back in boarding school. It just seemed like the hymn was reminding me of all the ways I would get punished by seniors that day. Hahaha.

Anyways, I thought about how I keep wondering why there aren't manuals to prepare you for certain things in life, and decided this might help me remember (not that there's any likelihood of me forgetting. Then again, you know how the human mind can be when ForgetfulJones mode kicks in).

So, here goes:

My Induction/ Labor and Afterbirth Story

I had gone for my normal antenatal appointment and was already 41 weeks. After seeing the doctor and doing a scan, I was told La Bambino could come anytime and to come in if I started having any contraction or if my water broke or I started loosing mucus plug.

We were also told that we could have an induction because waiting till the next week would make the baby alot older and bigger. So the idea of an induction came on a Wednesday and on the spot we both said we'd come in on Friday if nothing happened.

Prior to this though, I had said I wanted the baby to come in September, maybe even on the 4th which was also my sister's birthday. (Power in the tongue. Be careful what you say and decree; it just might happen!) Now I had to talk myself around the induction news.

I didnt want an induction.

I hadn't even prepped myself for the actual childbirth bit and this one is saying induction.

Hian! 

Me that was still basking in the euphoria of having another human inside of me. Chai! 

I was very gloomy, but I chucked it to the back of my mind.

I guess my family probably thought I was high on something because I'd notice their surreptitious glances when they thought I wasn't paying attention.
Huh?! I was pregnant not blind fa!

Wednesday soon made way for Thursday and soon it was Friday and I just played dumb like I had forgotten what day it was.
Truth be told, it wasn't till Kelechi made me actually talk about it that I realized I was running. Afraid hoff the highest horder!

We struck a deal.

I would have the rest of the weekend to prepare my mind and wrap my head round the whole induction thing and if nothing happened ,we would go in for the procedure on Monday.

I was so sure the baby would show up before then. Little did I know.

So I slept easy for the first time since I got the news of being induced. When Sunday came, I made sure I jiggied and komole-d to make la bambino drop but she wasn't having any of it.

Monday morning.

With my game face on, we headed out. Got to the hospital and we were shown into our room. After a couple of hours, I was prepped for the induction.
Now, I would probably not have the right words seeing as I was feeling and not seeing like Keletwi dearest was.
So, I was helped into a nightdress and waddled to the theater/ one tin one tin room. I lay down on the bed and the Dr. and Nurse-in-waiting(let's call her Maami) busied themselves with the scary looking lights and stirrups ( that's where you 'chook' ya leg to give better access for the lookery and entire procedure).

To make it even a lot more scarier, they both said,'Relax! It won't hurt in the least bit. When someone says that to you??? Half the time, it'll sting like no man's business. So, I just focused on one weird looking box in the corner and blanked my mind.

The whole procedure was geared at widening the cervix/ getting the birth passage ready for the baby as well as increase contractions. So the put in a straw like thing which comes in sizes and filled it with normal saline, I think. Then it was secured unto my inner thighs to ensure it was tight and not wobbly.

It wasn't that painful; on a scale of one to ten, I'd say a 5. It was just very uncomfortable. Next, came the bit where they had to set up a IV line. I absolutely detest needles close to my skin so you can imagine how scared I was now. Luckily, that went by quickly and then it was time to wait for the tube thing to drop. I happily bounced on the bed and tried to sleep, which is hard especially when Keletwi was there and honestly, I'd rather hound him than sleep:-P 

It took awhile for the tube thing to finally drop and it was already two hours past midday when it did. I was estatic! La baby wii soon show!

Story!

We were told the tuby thing didn't really work as it was small and the cervix(that may or may not be the terminology used:-P ) hadn't widened at all. Long story short, the process had to be redone.

Oh Chim!

Redo kini? Jehovah bu eze!(Jehovah is King).

Eyes glazed,I blanked everything out again, zooming in on another strange looking med. All this time, it was raining. Perfect weather for an induction. When I got tired of looking at the alphabets on the medicine pack, I focused on the raindrops.

Thankfully, the second time it was done really fast, or maybe it was just me.

I figured it would fall out like the first in say, 4/5 hours. But it didn't. The night shift staff came in for ward round/handover and it still hadn't fallen out. 

Hian!

All this while I'd been having mild contractions that I could breathe through so all i could do was just relax while each one ran its course. They were about 2 minutes apart so I reckoned relaxing would do me awhole lot of good.

So we waited.

And waited some more.

It finally made its appearance at 3am. I hadn't slept a wink and I felt the need to go wee and it fell out as I waddled from the bed.

Finally! Things were moving along!

Then came the enema. The last time I had hot water pumped into me was probably when I was 6. It was painful. This time was no different. Now that I think of it, I'd choose the catheter inserting bit over the enema any day.

Kai! O dun mi gan!!

When they were done, I dashed to empty my bowels and then la contractions kicked in, full force.

They were 1 minute apart and although I could still breathe through each one, it required serious concentration. Thank God for Keletwi. He got us breakfast and when we were done, it was time to put in the IV fluid. Thank God they put in the cannula the day before! I didn't have any pain bending moves left. The fluid and whatever they put it in made the contractions come a lot harder. They were less than a minute apart with no time in between to catch my breath.

Maami was coming in every other minute to tweak the IV and she sounded so positive la bambino would come before noon. She did the hand chooking-insai-cervix bit again to ascertain how far along I was and she said I had progressed so fast and was about 7 cm.

Yayyyyyyy! Great news!

She went on to make the fluid flow a lot faster and oh em gee!
I couldn't do the practiced breathing thing o! Omo! I would open my mouth and take deep breaths to tide me through each contraction. Yet, I was still seeing Sylvester and Tweety.

The next time Maami came in, she wheeled me and the IV line to the Labor room and ghen ghen! Lights, camera, action!

The contractions came on sooo much stronger and right after each one, came the next. Keletwi rubbed my back, mopped my forehead, massaged my lower back/waist. The contractions kept on building up and stronger. Maami was praying with every sentence she made. She'd even throw in a joke or two! Bia, nwanyi! Surely, you must see how much fun I'm having here, I thought to myself.

Maami was heaven sent.

Between the contractions and the pressure, my mantra had been, 'Pressure not pain.' That and the 'Jesus, I depend on you' prayer.

I was soooooo certain I was going to die. 

What!!!!! 

At some point, I had to gii myself brain and drop the Pressure-not-pain mantra and stick to 'Jesus I depend on you'.

All this while, it was still raining heavily. The air conditioning unit was on and so was the fan yet I was sweating bucket loads. Maami came over and gave me one surreal massage on the waist. 

Chai!

All the pressure melted away and I could re-add the 'Pressure not pain' talk to my prayer. When she had to move away and go burst my water to hasten things up, I almost yelled,'No!'

Keletwi took over and I didn't understand what he was doing. Babes! But this wasn't how Maami was doing it o! What happened to the butterfly, pain relieving touch?!!!

Maami!!!! Mbok come and take over!!

After the water gushed out, I felt so much relief! And then everything happened soooo fast. Maami said to push the first time and I was thinking,' Push from where kwa?!' She must have read my mind because she told me how to bear down like I had hard poo which I wanted out.

Oh and she said, 'Good attempt! Two more!' She even showed Keletwi the bambino's mop of dark hair peeking through(I was too busy feeling to even pay them any heed).

The next time she said push, I bore down with all my might. La bambino came out and they gave the cervix area a cut, snip! I heard the sound of the scissors and felt the skin give way to help the baby come out. I gave one final push and out came tumbling baby dearest at exactly 10:12am.

I felt sooooooooooo relieved, I was almost humming,  "I'm walking on sunshine!"

I could have easily slept for days!!! Keletwi had to pinch me to keep my eyes open. I wasn't really sleepy, I just felt so light headed and pressure free that closing my eyes just seemed like the right thing to do.

While they busied themselves with cleaning her and getting her to cry, Maami and the Dr. got down to the business of stitching up the episiotomy.

Nna mehn! That is another Journey to Witch Mountain!

Chai!!

Keletwi kept saying, 'Two more stitches' for what seemed like 3 light years! All the pain I didn't feel earlier, I felt in full force now. I felt every tug, every piercing of the needle in the skin to close up the cut.

Jesus really tried for mankind o! To give live to all of us fa! And the pain it cost him! Thank you Lord Jesus!

When they were finally done!!!!!!! I couldn't wait to start the sleep.

I knew Keletwi was close so I could finally sleep on my tummy if I wanted and not be scared someone was coming to switch the baby or worse still carry her kpam kpam.

Overactive imagination.

Finally, I was able to leave the next day. Yayyyyyyyyyyyyy.

And that's all folks!

Now I understand why during Mother's Day/Sunday, the moms waltz around like they have all day for their thanksgiving. And the dads too. Parenting and Adulting is the real deal!

To think that it took me three months to put this up.

Oh wel, better late than never.

Up next, the business of caring for your bambino after the great welcome- things you are never told.

Loads of Christmas cheer!!!

Cee.