Parenting Series 05: Feeling Like The Old You.

Ohla Bee,

Compliments of the Lenten Season!

Counting down to the Easter Holidays and just twirling round stuff in my mind.

Nobody ever explicitly tells you what you’re in for when it comes to having children, and even where you have had prior practice (tending to siblings and/ cousins) you never really grasp the gravity of what it truly entails till the stork drops off one cute being your way.

That said, you might also want to ALWAYS remember this: there is no such thing as the good old days. Hehehehehe. What you have now is as perfect as perfect can be (ok, I’m being a clown. But really, what you have now is basically the reality, as you know it.) This being the lay of the land, you might want to start considering the many ways to make the best of your ‘lemons’

Ever had those nostalgic moments where you go looking at old pictures of you and how beautiful and super-trendy you used to be? How you were so in the prime of life? Here’s the thing; tagging a particular era “the prime of one’s life” is subjective.

The truth is you’re probably in the prime of your life NOW. And there’s even more great news! The prime of your life comes at different times for different things. So essentially, you’re always prime for something. (See?? You’re ripe even now! Now, I sound like I’m referring to a sour sop). The message therefore is that parenting is a series of ups and downs, mistakes and perfect executions. For every phase you master, there will be always be another waiting to watch you fall flat on your face *insert tongue out smiley*

So, take it easy with life. With your partner too and most definitely with yourself. Spend as much time as you can creating lasting memories together.

No blaming or guilt-tripping.

Your child should never be used as a bargaining chip or as a weapon to hurt the other party. If anything, reevaluate how and where things stand, if your child is a constant strain on the way everyone relates in the family. Set ground rules to guide what is excusable, what is obtainable; or isn’t.

As much as possible, everyone should pitch in & help. And I mean everyone…Never be shy to ask for help (while you’re at it, hope you also create some pay-back time to help the other helpers out to. We all have to look out for each other, you know! You might also want to be super certain of the helpers too! The stories we hear these days!)

So, while we are still on the get-away time, here a few quick wins: (absolutely adore Tolu…story for another day)

•         Always allow for time away in a neutral environment. You never really understand how tense you are in the home till you step outside your zone and into the open.
•         Take a day off on the weekends; breathe, go to the beach or some fun family park and just goof around.
•         Basically, just let your inner child loose.

I think I’ve come to understand that a lot of times, we get ourselves so worked up that everything begins to get us all irritable.

That’s when you should begin to think of time alone to reaffirm the many reasons why you are you. What makes you tick? And I don’t mean go to the movies (though I guess there are those of us who just leaving the house is a step in the unwinding-direction). Who better to spend this unwinding time with than those we love?

If you can, take the weekend off (this option can be very hard for those of us who worry about leaving our wee bairns behind and spend the best part of the trip worrying! Worryworts.com!)

Above all, worry less, ok? You’re doing great.

Just breathe.

Sending loads of hugs to friends and family who have lost a loved one. My heartfelt prayers are with you and yours.

Always.

Cee