THE THREE GATES OF SPEECH

Ohla Bee.

This seems to always always be on my mind.

Many a time, we unknowingly pass judgment on others, airing our opinion that is half the time, unsolicited. Maybe because we feel are experts on the topic or because we know the person in question, or mostly because we can.

It then comes as a shock (or in Mila’s voice, ‘shook’) when others (who haven’t the slightest idea what side of our mouths we chew with) do same!

Sometimes I believe you just hold your tongue, like practically bite you’re your tongue to refrain from speaking.

From swear words to hurtful words (that always come out ‘for-her-own-good’) to general tactless opinions, I truly believe we all need to stop, take deep breathes and simple let others be.

Before you speak, ask yourself:

·         Is it kind?

·         Is it true?

·         Is it necessary?

And even if you’re done checking all three boxes, MUST YOU TALK?

 Is it kind?

So you see this lovely lady at the park who comes every day and seems to always have her head in books by interesting authors, yeah? You walk up to her and with a smile, you introduce yourself. She turns towards you and shockingly, she has a severe case of acne.

So, before you are well meaning, you go: “My darling! Your face! It’s sooo bad! You need to……..”

Hmmm.

Really, is this the kind of thing YOU would want to receive? How will it make someone else feel?

Moving on.

Is it necessary?

You see a lady struggling with her children at the mall and you decide to help. The young mom is so happy to have some help and thanks you profusely. Your parting shot is, ‘You shouldn’t let them bully you while shopping. What I do with my kids while I’m out with them is…..

Now, I must applaud your generosity, helping her out and all but is it really necessary to critic her Mommy-handling skills just then/there? Maybe a compliment on how she’s the real MVP, juggling kids and shopping, ño?

Is it true? 

There is Cee’s truth and that’s all mine. There is also the truth about how/what actually happened. Then there’s every other person’s truth.

Which are you telling?

Even if you were telling all three versions of the truth, what do you hope to accomplish telling it?

Is it your place to do so?

And that is the beauty of growing/living alongside the 7.4bn (if not more) humans on this planet. Everyone is raised differently and so it’s a blend of the good, the bad and the not-so beautiful.

Basically, all I’m saying is, ‘Show some tact…just because.’

Toddles

Cee.

PS

Don’t waste your energy losing sleep or fuming over people who see no need to exercise restraint when swerving with their tongue. Just because someone else is tactless, doesn’t mean you don’t have to give them the power to control your mood or happiness.

Stay in control of YOU.

Be YOU.