Parenting Series 04: Belief EqualsTrust? Or Nay?

Ohla Bee,

You know how you’re certain of your stance on certain topics but you don’t exactly realize the intensity of your commitment/ passion towards same till you actually voice it out or air your opinions, probably in a heated argument?

That’s how I felt yesterday.

I even shocked myself.

So someone was talking about how this child in Nursery school came back and said to the mom, “Mom, my teacher touched me…” Then he asks what we think.

Looking back now, I think he shouldn't even have asked. Hehehehe. Because it seemed like hell had been let loose with everyone demanding for the said teacher head. “Arrest him!” “Arrest him!” we all yelledJ, while investigations are being carried out and tests run on the child.

I guess we all sounded really angered because the person who asked the question was shook! It was obvious he didn’t understand why we even needed to have the teacher locked up at all. In his defense, he was probably playing devil’s advocate because he kept asking, ‘What if the teacher is innocent?’

Now, I get that bit, BUT I’m also a firm believer of keeping to one’s personal space. Don’t go touching other people’s children, really! Especially with the way things are turning out! And with the number of predators and perverts there are! Keep all touching to a zero if possible.

Now to parents…

I believe children should be raised the best way possible such that everything they say is as close to the truth as possible. Don’t go sparing the rod and spoiling that child; and at the same time, don’t turn your home into a movie set, remaking the movie, 300! (or that movie where newborns are cast out in the cold mountains and expected to survive and return strong).

Basically, ensure that you’re striving for a balance.

Don’t give your children room to think that you love them, yes… but you don’t believe them.

I’d rather we be the ones apologizing than someone else tendering the apologies.

Yes, children have a vivid imagination. But it’s the part where adults don’t even believe what children say that irks me, all the time! A child should be able to talk to his parents, expecting actions to be taken without fear of being punished for speaking out (SPEAK OUT!)

So, lesson for the day: start teaching children to be aware of the adults around them, relatives or nay. If anything (and I mean anything at all) happens, be rest assured that you can tell me. Without fear of being spanked. Or punished.

That’s what I think every child would want growing up. A verbal reassurance. Not an unspoken reassurance (which is probably what most people grew up with). My parents would always tell you how much they love you (still do till date) which is great!

 Do that too and also tell your children they can confide in you; trust you too.

Keep saying it till they can hear it in their sleep J

Oh and when they do confide in you? Try to listen more and react less. Listen first. Then ask questions. Reacting comes muchhhhh later, ok?

Great.

Someone once sent me a corny song of a funny looking character, ‘Pantisaurus,’ with the underlying message being children should speak up if they are touched/abused by adults, scream NO and run away to tell an adult. Then again, seeing how most adults would probably shush them and ask that they stop making up stories, one can't help but wonder.

Mbok, run and come tell me o!

I should probably start some kid of outreach programme working with children. Maybe a homeschooling programme or some kind of programme seeing as I’m very passionate about all things children. (to think I’d usually just watch their antics from a distance and here I am clamoring for Child Advocacy; I’m just such a goofball.)

Oh well.

Happy Wednesday and Countdown to St. Valentine’s Day! And TS’ birthday!

Toddles!

Cee.