Female in Progress 4

Hi hi Bee,

How's you? 

You know how in boarding school, you used to dread the morning bell? (That's assuming you went to a boarding school and you were a 'boarder'). Ever wondered how it came to be that the bell ringer always woke the school up on time? Considering we didn't have cell phones then? 

Hmm...

Oh! We had those quaint yet cute alarm clocks. Maybe that's how they did it!

They're so lucky they never picked me to be the bell ringer.

So, yesterday I thought I'd take on the role of 'hairy godfather' and put up one extra post.

 Honestly I was at it. Then the lights went out and my system went kaput. See? The things that jinx my benevolent spirit.

Here goes.

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What is he doing here?!! Is he following me around now?

I am so going to kill Somfechukwu Ike!

And I’m wearing shorts and a cartoon-y tee!!!!!

I wish the couch would disappear and take me with it.

Bracing myself for the worst, chin out; I stand and pull myself together with eyes darting around looking for that Judasmae and throwing daggers at her when she eventually walks towards us.

“Oh! Elle, this is my cousin whom I’ve been raving about. Gb, Elle my bestie”

I’m so not her best-anything and I’m definitely going to kill her after this!

Still smiling, he moves over to take a seat.

“We’ve met” He says, flashing those dimples again.

“You have?! When?! You only just got back last month and she doesn’t go anywhere so how did you meet??”

“Work. Remember the Girl with the phone I told you about?”

“Oh! That was Elle?????” Wow! Small world!”

They keep talking; one flashing dimples and happily recounting how unfriendly I have been, and the other already planning a wedding from the animated look on her face. Well, we’ll see about that!

I march to where she’s seated, drag her upright and smile stiffly at her cousin while heading for the door, ignoring her struggle for me to unhand her.

When we are way past her gate, I let go of her arm and scream.

“Start. Talking. Now!”

“What did I do? I didn’t know he was in your company!”

“You didn’t know,how? I told you!!! I even read out the name when I was delivering his mail!!!!!!! How could you not know???!!!”

“But I would have told you! You hung up immediately after, remember?"

"And it didn't cross your mind to tell me later?!"

"Calm down! He only just came back to take over his dad’s holdings in some companies. I didn’t know it was yours!”

“Did you hear me talk about any G.Llyods today?”

“Yes, but I wasn’t really paying attention and besides, you said Gbeyiwa!  Everyone calls him Gb. I'm sorry, I wasn't really paying attention.”

“And he’s your cousin how again?”

“Hey! Don’t take that tone with me! He’s mom’s nephew fa!”

She’s clearly upset now. But so am I! She should have said something!

Dragging my hands through my hair…

My hair!!!

“Som! You should have said something! My hair’s a mess. My shorts are… I don’t know… and my top! I could shake you now!” 

I’m close to tears now. Just my luck!!! What else could go wrong.

I shake her hard till I hear her teeth chatter. I stop before she bites her tongue or something only to see that the being is giggling away!

“It’s not funny! I look horrible”

“You look fine! What exactly is this all about?” She turns and starts walking me back into the house. I stop and head in the opposite direction.

“We aren’t going back in there o! You, maybe. Definitely not me!”

Still giggling, she shakes her head at me and we start walking towards my house, while I tell her everything.

When I’m done, she throws her head back and laughs.

“So, you don’t mind walking home the way you’re dressed but…”

Cutting in,”there’s nothing wrong with the way I’m dressed!”

“I said that earlier, didn’t I? You look like a model. Why else would I be exercising to look like you do even though you eat everything in sight and still look like…what’s that thing Fran calls you?’

“Twig!” We both say and burst out laughing.

Now, I’m calm, I realize I might have overreacted.

“I’m sorry”

“Its fine” I pause.

“Actually, it isn’t! It’s just that I wasn’t expecting to see him anytime tomorrow at work and then bam! He shows up in your house where I’d have considered my safe haven. It’s not fair! And I was looking like a 12 year old and he was sitting there smiling and flashing dimples!”

Somfe starts laughing again.

We are a few blocks from my house and I reach into my pocket for my phone to make a call.

“Fran’ll be out any second to take you home. Do you think he’ll give me a memo tomorrow?”

“Haba! He’s not that bad! I think he likes you though.”

“I can see that happening…NOT EVER!”

“You know what they say about never…”

“I don’t need that drama, please”

“I just think both of you are…”

“Drop it please o!”

Shrugging, she stops talking. My head is pounding. I need my bed. I brush past Fran and mumble something.

Inside, it’s quiet and thankfully so. I don’t think I’d be good company with the way I’m feeling. I head straight up and wash my face before I crawl into bed

    

I wake up a few minutes before my alarm rings and raise my head carefully.

Nothing.

I shake it oh so slightly.

Again, nothing.

I don’t push my luck. Quietly rising and sitting up, I feel for my phone and turn off the sound then head out to get ready for work. I really am not looking forward to today. Funny too, as Fridays are my happiest days.

Oh well.

I get to work real early and decide to mind my desk and system. No traipsing round at the risk of bumping into Didi.

Fortunately, the day flies past and its almost time to head home. Ahan! Now my day is looking up. I clear out my desk and don’t feel my heels touch the ground. I’m just outside the building when a car pulls up beside me.

Oh no, let it be someone else, please let it be someone else.

“Hey! Stranger!”

Thank God!

“Hey, you!”  It is Edun. He’s the unofficial welcome party for new staff. He was really nice to me when I resumed at the firm and I’d wondered where he’d been hiding.

“Where have you been hibernating?”

“You forgot all about me. Not nice.” He climbs out, long legs and all.

“No! That’s not true. I’ve been meaning to come by your desk. I’ve just been swamped.”

“It’s alright. I’ll let this one slide but you’ll have to have dinner with me.”

I am really not up to any activity of any sort and I politely say so.

“Tomorrow then?” he asks.

“Oh, I’m sorry Edun. I promised my brother I’d show up and help out at his event this weekend.”

“Hmmm… Is it everyone or just me you’re intent on pushing away?”

“Haba !”

“Ok, so you’re busy now. When will you see that you are my fire, my one desire…”

Giggling now, he always has this playful aura about him.

“Backstreet Boy, pack well. If you’re free Sunday, we could grab a bite, late lunch after church. I haven’t had The Bukka’s special in awhile and Candor's All You Can Eat Buffet.”

 I can tell Edun is about to jump at the offer but suddenly has this weird look on his face.

“Yes, I know it is short notice. My benevolent self decided to cut your poor singing self some slack.”

A deep baritone voice interrupts,” In that case you wouldn’t mind if I borrowed you for a few minutes?”

Slowly, I turn and it is He-who-must-not-be-bumped-into.

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If you had to pick a different job; something different from what you do now, what would it be?

Have fun with your list.

Cee.